Happy Mother’s Day! To celebrate, Honda Mama is going to talk about the Queen of Mom-Cars: the MINIVAN. Every mom needs to experience the minivan at some point in her life. People love to criticize minivans, but I’ve had three of them and they are frickin’ AWESOME!
Here are Honda Mama’s top 10 reasons you need a minivan RIGHT NOW:
1) They are totally cool and guaranteed to make you look gangsta.
2) The new ones have TVs. Don’t tell me “it’s a slippery slope to screen dependence.” At first, I was a judgy mama and I avoided them, but in my last minivan, I gleefully slid down that slippery slope. So I had to listen to Toy Story forty million and seven times. It was worth it to avoid the sibling arguments and the constant chorus of “Are we there yet?”
3) Storage and organization. Minivans are like a mobile purse, with pockets and spaces for everything you need: glove compartments, center console, plastic pockets in doors and under the wheel. In my new car, my purse has a permanent home on the passenger seat, and if someone sits in that seat, they become the designated Purse Holder. (Luckily I have a husband who is very comfortable with his manhood because I LOVE driving my Crosstour!) But sometimes I do miss being able to pull a pencil, a piece of gum, a water bottle, or a guardian angel mass card out of my car like I’m pulling a rabbit out of a hat.
4) Speaking of space, minivans create space between kids, reducing and possibly eliminating the whole “he/she’s touching me!” argument.
5) Automatic doors and other cool features. There’s nothing easier than pulling into your driveway or destination, pressing a button, and allowing the kids to just spill on out. Easy-peasy. And you can set child locks on the automatic doors. Great feature for flight-risk kids.
6) Sliding doors, in general. Even if you don’t have power doors, sliding doors rule. In those teeny parking spaces at the shopping center, you don’t have to stand over your kids making sure they don’t whack the car next to yours (it’s always a Mercedes with a perfect paint job and a tiny dog barking in the backseat) when they throw the door open, creating a huge dent that will necessitate a note with your insurance information on the windshield.
7) Height. If you have babies in car seats, a minivan will save your back. The seats are at the perfect height so you can avoid the constant bending and twisting that you have to perform several times daily to extricate your child from a car seat that has enough belts to rival a parachute harness and is more secure than a Briggs Armored Truck.
8) Built-in vacuum. If the minivan is the Queen of Mom-Cars, then I hereby declare the new Odyssey Queen of All Minivans because it has a built-in vacuum. Do you realize how many steps this removes in your life of endless chores and work? No more dragging the vacuum out (in my house, you have to find it first because whoever used it last NEVER puts it away) no more searching for an extension cord, no more having to stop in the middle of vacuuming because a child has tripped over the extension cord and now needs ten Band-Aids and a popsicle.
9) Cupholders. Now, I know you’re saying, What is the big deal about cupholders? Who needs 13 cupholders, anyway? Well, my friend, let me tell you: YOU DO. Because you never just have one cup in your car. When you are a mom, your vehicle can contain, at any given time, the following:
- Your half-full coffee cup from yesterday (travel mug from home, in keeping with your goal to save money and reduce your Starbucks habit)
- Your current coffee cup (a Starbucks cup–what the heck, treat yourself– which will get left in the car again today when you lug all the groceries and your screaming child into the house)
- Your husband’s coffee cup from a week ago, which was left in the back when he took the kids to soccer practice and which will announce itself with a strange smell very soon
- A sippy cup from your toddler
- A snack cup from your toddler
- A thermos from your school-age child
- A water bottle from your soccer-playing child
- A Gatorade from your hockey-playing child
- An empty snack cup from your toddler
- An empty baby bottle from when your school-age soccer-playing child was a toddler…
Are you starting to see how this could happen? You need more cupholders!
There you have it, folks. Honda Mama admits: Minivans rule. Embrace the minivan. Go get yourself one and Happy Mother’s Day.
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